What I've learned
My house is a mess.
When I was little, our house was a mess. I learned that mess was normal.
When I got to school, I got to see other people's houses. They weren't messy. I don't think they were ever messy. Everybody I knew was deeply immersed in church culture. Their mothers were either the stay-at-home variety or else they had appropriate jobs. By 'appropriate' I mean that they were still able to keep on top of their housework and provide elaborate, well-decorated meals at dinner time. Not only were the houses tidy all around, but I heard rumours that some mothers cleaned their children's bedrooms. Surely that could not be so! These kids would get up and go to school, and their mothers would march into their bedrooms make all the mess disappear and do all the laundry. I learned that my family was not normal.
At first I was okay with this difference. The other kids complained constantly about their mothers cleaning their rooms and making them do chores. Obviously, my child-mind rationalised, they would rather live the way we do. Not so. These kids were so horrified by their brief forays into my world that the truth was plain to see. The old addage about cleanliness being next to godliness isn't quite true; what people (church people, I mean) actually believe is that tidiness is next to godliness. I learned that we were unacceptable.
When I finished school I began meeting people who weren't and never had been a part of church culture. Upon visiting their homes, I was surprised to find that some of them were messy. Not all of them, certainly, but some people had messy homes. Some people had cluttered homes. Some people left stuff lying around. Some people had tattered and frayed furniture. Some people believed that if the floor didn't get swept every day, life would not, in fact, come to a screeching halt. Some people believed that it was okay to hang coats over the backs of chairs. I learned that I was not as hopelessly unacceptable as I been trained to believe.
I have lived with a great many people in my life. Aside from family members, I have shared a home with more than 50 people. (No not all at once!) Some are messy; some are tidy. Some are dirty; some are clean. Some are packrats; some are minimalists. I learned that we're all different and that none of us is any less acceptable than any other.
In the past few years I have had the opportunity to live with a few Christians. I relearned what I learned so many years ago. Christians believe that tidiness (not cleanliness) is next to godliness. My clutter, my propensity to leave books lying around, my predisposition to fill every horizontal surface with stuff is (to quote one person) 'intolerable'. I learned that Christians find me unacceptable as a housemate.
And I learned a little something else along the way. I learned that I don't want to live with a bunch of stuck-up, self-righteous, holier-than-me, judgemental neat freaks. I learned that I don't want to live with Christians.
I'm ashamed to admit this, but that doesn't make it any less true.
And guess what... I'll be there in heaven leaving all my crap lying around.
When I was little, our house was a mess. I learned that mess was normal.
When I got to school, I got to see other people's houses. They weren't messy. I don't think they were ever messy. Everybody I knew was deeply immersed in church culture. Their mothers were either the stay-at-home variety or else they had appropriate jobs. By 'appropriate' I mean that they were still able to keep on top of their housework and provide elaborate, well-decorated meals at dinner time. Not only were the houses tidy all around, but I heard rumours that some mothers cleaned their children's bedrooms. Surely that could not be so! These kids would get up and go to school, and their mothers would march into their bedrooms make all the mess disappear and do all the laundry. I learned that my family was not normal.
At first I was okay with this difference. The other kids complained constantly about their mothers cleaning their rooms and making them do chores. Obviously, my child-mind rationalised, they would rather live the way we do. Not so. These kids were so horrified by their brief forays into my world that the truth was plain to see. The old addage about cleanliness being next to godliness isn't quite true; what people (church people, I mean) actually believe is that tidiness is next to godliness. I learned that we were unacceptable.
When I finished school I began meeting people who weren't and never had been a part of church culture. Upon visiting their homes, I was surprised to find that some of them were messy. Not all of them, certainly, but some people had messy homes. Some people had cluttered homes. Some people left stuff lying around. Some people had tattered and frayed furniture. Some people believed that if the floor didn't get swept every day, life would not, in fact, come to a screeching halt. Some people believed that it was okay to hang coats over the backs of chairs. I learned that I was not as hopelessly unacceptable as I been trained to believe.
I have lived with a great many people in my life. Aside from family members, I have shared a home with more than 50 people. (No not all at once!) Some are messy; some are tidy. Some are dirty; some are clean. Some are packrats; some are minimalists. I learned that we're all different and that none of us is any less acceptable than any other.
In the past few years I have had the opportunity to live with a few Christians. I relearned what I learned so many years ago. Christians believe that tidiness (not cleanliness) is next to godliness. My clutter, my propensity to leave books lying around, my predisposition to fill every horizontal surface with stuff is (to quote one person) 'intolerable'. I learned that Christians find me unacceptable as a housemate.
And I learned a little something else along the way. I learned that I don't want to live with a bunch of stuck-up, self-righteous, holier-than-me, judgemental neat freaks. I learned that I don't want to live with Christians.
I'm ashamed to admit this, but that doesn't make it any less true.
And guess what... I'll be there in heaven leaving all my crap lying around.
4/10/05 08:31I've been living with mess and wreckage for the last ten weeks - two weeks of getting ready to move, four weeks of living with a friend while my apartment got ready, and four weeks trying to settle in here. So your post was particularly relevant to me.
All my life, I really longed to be a neatnik - I just never developed the skills. My desire to fit-in (and a propensity for works righteousness) pushes me in that direction - but like so many things, I want to be like that, but don't want to spend the energy to do it. Sloth is one of my primary character defects...
And it's sad to say, I've only about four Christians in nearly 50 years that I could live with. I both understand and identify with the "tidiness is next to Godliness" concept. Thank you for putting it so clearly.
My hope is that when I die, I will leave both the propensity for sloth and all the crap behind - and simply be in the presence of the One who only needs me, and not a single bit of my stuff. That will be both tidy and wonderful!
» Post a Comment